Why Are Kids Pussies These Days?
It might be maturity or old man syndrome, but it really feels like kids are huge pussies these days. I’m not gonna do the whole, “When I was your age, I had to walk uphill to school, both ways, in the snow.” thing. Mostly because I was raised in Texas where it snowed once every 215 years and the topography gave people really good reason to believe the earth was flat. Just from my own experience with my wife and the way she prefers to rear our children, I have no hope for the future of ‘man’ kind.
Every God damned sniffle and sneeze somehow gets turned into a cold, or swine flu or fucking AID’s. Hell, even her mother joins in; every time one of the kids gets a red mark near their feet or face she says: “They might have foot and mouth disease.” I’m not exaggerating…ever single time! Seriously what the fuck is that even? I hadn’t heard of it until 5 years ago and I grew up around hundreds of other kids…I swear, I really did. Foot and mouth disease sounds like something kids in the dark ages got from walking in cow shit all day then sticking their foot in their mouths for dinner.
Anyway, I’m not going to sit here and unload on my wife and her family, she reads these posts and I truly like my bed. So…moving on, she’s not the only one who does this. I read an article in a well known news magazine that talked about “helicopter parents”. These are moms and dads who basically hover over their children night and day so as to ensure nothing “bad” happens to these bundles of joy. The problem with this style of parenting is that the child never learns failure or how to cope with it. So later in life, when they actually keep score in sports, they lose their shit when they get the crap kicked out of them and cry for 3 days straight about how “the other team just didn’t play fair!” Or perhaps even later in life when a bully calls him a buttface and little Billy becomes suicidal at age 11. Or even LATER in life when he’s in college and mommy isn’t there to tell the professor to go easy on her baby in class because “He’s a sensitive super duper special boy who requires lots of attention, praise and one on one time.” But a week into the class, the professor asks what his name is and if he’s sure he’s supposed to be in ‘Intro to Psych’, at which point super duper special Billy realizes no one gives a shit that in mommy’s world he’s #1. He’s gonna need four more years of therapy just to get him through college without killing himself and taking out 20 other students along the way.
So back off from your kid, let them fall down and pick themselves back up; don’t be afraid to tell that ungrateful brat ‘no’ once in a while; let them actually get sick so their body can fight it off and build up an immune system; don’t buy little Jane a fucking pony just because little Jane wants a pony. Little Jane doesn’t fucking need a pony, and you’ll be the asshole shoveling its shit you stupid bastard. Kids should be kids, part of childhood isn’t just video games and watching TV; it’s about learning and getting scrapes and bruises, having “wars” with other neighborhood kids, playing hide-and-seek in the dark outside. Back the fuck up off your kids you psycho! All you’re gonna do is make them 10 times more neurotic than YOU already are!
To my wife: I’m sorry about what I said earlier in this post; you’re a great mother and you don’t need to change a thing. And your mom, well…I don’t know, she looks like she has some sort of rash around her mouth…