Say Thank You Dammit!

Correct me if I’m wrong but when someone opens/holds the door open for you, at say…a gas station entrance, it’s polite to say ‘thank you’.  Am I the only son of a bitch that believes that?  I’m sorry but I didn’t stop where I was going and hold the door open for you so you could just blow past me continuing to talk on the phone to your shit-head friend unimpeded you ungrateful mattress stain.  What; the two and half freaking seconds it takes to share a couple words of gratitude gonna ruin your conversation about ‘Big Brother’ or…I don’t know, world peace?  Ass!  I ought to slam this door into your under-developed mongoloid head; at least then maybe you’ll notice I’m standing there.

Race be damned, I’m calling you out; rich white males and black females with their ‘hair did’ are by far the biggest offenders.  I don’t have a single explanation for that special level of inconsiderate, but it’s true (at least from my observations).  It just freaking blows my mind that anyone can be that much of douche hole.  Black women (B.W. from here on out) are the worst about being on the phone and ignoring my gentlemanly ways.  I don’t know if maybe it’s a cultural thing, but holy bearded Jesus, I’ve seen three year olds with more manners!

Rich white men (R.W.M from here on out) make more sense to me as to why they commit this (by my standards) heinous act.  They seem to have an air of entitlement about them.  Their gestures indicate to me that they truly believe they are above me.  To them I say, Fuck you, fuck you right in the goat ass you arrogant man bitch.  As a matter of fact, fuck the rich white man AND the black woman.  Only because I still have a few good values left in me and can’t in good conscience threaten a woman, I will skull fuck R.W.M into taking full responsibility of B.W.  So help me God, both of you are getting laid out where upon I will position your bodies in awkward and inappropriate poses for all to see.  I will refrain from committing said assault, however, if either one of you apologize or have large body guards and/or boyfriends accompanying you.  If you’re a kid, I’m taking your allowance to teach you a lesson; somebody needs to ensure you have manners and I really need a Big Gulp (teaching is exhausting work), so every body wins. 

Say thank you dammit!

[Editor’s note: All references to assaulting anyone is for the most part, simply for comedic purposes (I was told I should say that…I don’t now why).]

13 Responses to “Say Thank You Dammit!”
  1. ADORE you. I just actually started a blog (not skulking for traffic though, visit if you wish to… you’ll probably be the only one) on manners because I just cannot freaking believe the ignorance that has become so prevalent lately. Was looking for images and came across your rant 🙂

    I’m the person who smiles and loudly says “YOU’RE WELCOME” to the inconsiderate ass who doesn’t thank me for holding the door.

    It takes so little.

    • graysonjack says:

      Well thank you! I don’t know what happened to everyone’s sense of courtesy and etiquette but it needs to come back. I truly believe everyone is just completely shut off to the world around them because of the myriad of technology available. No one is face-to-face anymore, we’re just on computers (like now haha), phones, etc.; which apparently makes us lose our ability to be nice. Anyway, thanks for the comment and I’m headed to your blog right…now!

      • Yeah, my DNS was having issues yesterday so it’s likely you couldn’t even GET to my website, but thanks for trying 🙂

        It might be easier to be an asshole online than face to face, but I don’t do that either (um, unless provoked, natch) It’s all about choice.

        Have a great day!

  2. PD Williams says:

    Both my daughters — yes, BWs as I am — have always called the ill mannered jack-asses out by very loudly saying “thank you” for them as their mothers obviously failed to teach them to be polite. But then, on the other hand, I am the mother of two very rude BWs who publicly call attention to others’ shortcomings …

    • graysonjack says:

      Ma’am you are entirely too good to be reading my low brow humor. I’ve read your blog and you are by far too eloquent and well spoken to stoop to my level! I am a little embarrassed you had to read this but I thank you and I thank you for teaching your daughters well. I must admit, I do the loud “thank you” as well…

      • PD Williams says:

        I would be totally remiss if, at this point, I failed to say “thank you.” I’d also be one of those BWs you raked over the coals — yikes! 🙂 So, thank you. And thanks for your posts. You say the things I think, but which I’m too snooty to write. Best.

        • graysonjack says:

          Haha…your 'thank you' as I can tell is have honest and half facetious.If that's so, I love your wit. If that wasn't your intention, then I say be quiet and go with it!It adds to your charm.Again, thank you for reading and making such a low-brow humorist a happy person!

  3. Say thank you dammit! Now can i get my allowance back!

  4. chrisdevoss says:

    I feel I should thank you for writing this…lol

  5. Michael says:

    Love it, I’ll be back!

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  1. […] for images I could steal borrow that would go along with my post yesterday, and instead came across this post by Grayson […]

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