This has been a long time coming and with recent events being a catalyst, I can no longer contain my disdain for stupid people.  If you’re a left-wing-hippie who says corporations are bad and down with “the man”; first off, go fuck yourself with an all-natural-soy based-free range-vegan granola bar.  Second, go fuck yourself with your hemp-bead necklace you non-showering, deodorant-handicapped, jobless, living-in-your-mother’s-basement, non-real-world-living hippie.  Third, you might want to skip this post and come back next week because it could get hateful…more hateful.  If you’re a loyal reader but also a hippie; I love you but you need to leave for the time being; go be idealistic somewhere else like rainbow-fantasy land where everyone works for marshmallows and sunshine, and technology falls out of the sky from some alien Apple Computer spaceship.  So…come back next Tuesday.

I’m not a gung-ho-right-wing-tea party-membership card-carrying politico by any means, but with the level of stupidity I saw yesterday on the Yahoo! News comments section; I wish I had the ability to bottle said stupidity and sell it as a novelty at Spencer’s Gifts.  I feel it would be an ironic slap in the face of these ass-tards protesting “corporate America”, money and Wall Street.

It would, without exaggeration, take a minimum of posting daily for a month to cover every single asinine point that has been made as to why making money is the equivalent (in their eyes) of raping children in 3rd world countries for shits and giggles.  For those of you not able to keep up, they think money is evil.

To those standing outside buildings (you know, those big concrete things people with JOBS go inside) in NYC protesting with your cute little signs deriding big corporations, I ask: who do you think manufactured those markers and that card board you’re using?  Who do you think made that computer that you’re using to type stupid, half thought out comments on a forum (Yahoo!) run by a FUCKING CORPORATION?! You think all this technology is fucking magic? You think the technology gods are pleased with their people and reward us with Mac Book Pros?

Then I have to listen to more retards tell me how we outsource all our jobs over-seas.  Yeah, ok, that sucks but guess what…that’s like 1% of the total jobs these evil companies provide.  What about all the high paying, higher tax bracket jobs that are right here; like engineers, accountants, marketing teams and the myriad of other jobs they create?  I work right the fuck in the middle of the technology field and I guaran-God damn-ty you there are an incredible shit-ton of jobs right here in America that pay taxes which in turn create income for those city workers that maintain the sewage system that you hippies keep destroying with your fucked up hippie diets.

You want to get rid of money all together?  Good luck getting shit done because I don’t work for free and I’m sure as hell not bartering for a fucking animal pelt when I live in the hottest fucking state in America!

I just wish I could grab one of these idealist bastards and punch him in the face repeatedly until he needed medical attention, then send his ass to Canada or England for treatment.  We’ll see what he thinks of a social medical system then…hippie!  I bet I’d be back at work earning a paycheck before he even made it through triage.

No money, plus no big corporations, plus socialism creates a stagnant society.  There’s no reason to create bigger and better technology if there’s no one there to pay you for your ideas.  If there’s no competition, there’s no reason to create.  We might as well go back to the year 1250 and eke out a shitty living eating oats and fucking tree branches (which is probably what the vegans want).  But to that I say fuck you, fuck you right in your hairy hippie face.  I like cable TV and microwaves and fucking trucks!  I like washing my ass with body soap and a loofah.  Yeah…a loofah.  And I like my guns and computer and my cell-phone.  And I’ll call your hippie ass from my cell-phone to tell you how wonderful deodorant is and tooth brushes and fucking clothes, and trashmen and HD-porn-on-demand.  You go live in your depressing, dark, smelly hut made of leaves and goat shit, and I’ll enjoy my nice 3 bedroom, air conditioned apartment with internet and cable…hippie!

7 Responses to “Hippie-acolypse”
  1. Anonymous says:

    that was a great read. what pisses me off are the dumb city hippies

  2. Hate on me all you want, dude, but as a member of the working class (the educated working class; my husband and I both have bachelor degrees) who paid our taxes last year (and our combined income came nowhere near 6 six digits) it feels like a slap in the face to watch the news and hear that giant corporations who PROFITED a few BILLION paid NOTHING in taxes because of tax cuts some other beyond-my-comprehension-wealthy assholes created for them. I’m not asking for corporations (and certainly not money) to disappear. I am totally willing to contribute my part to society. But so should they.

    In other words, take your big corporate dick out of my ass before I bleed to death. If the government needs 30% of my pitiful earnings, they sure as fuck need 30% of the precious corporations’ money, too.

  3. Why does it bother me? says:

    Wow you are angry! In the UK we normally find these daft pricks are all from titled families. So nice to have ideals when you stand inherit the family pile and London apartment when your turn comes!

  4. kvennarad says:

    I like to read views diametrically opposite to my own from time-to-time. It keeps me sane.

    Marie Marshall

  5. alanschuyler says:

    I too was a bit worried that you were getting a little and soft and snuggly lately. I’m not worried anymore…

  6. PD Williams says:

    Thank you! When my daughters were students — their “free” (for them) educations at private colleges being paid for by the corporate paycheck I collected twice a month in combination with the the profits from my side job — I was a “capitalist pig.” I was what was wrong with the world. In fact, they added to my bank collection a little brown eyeglass-wearing piggy bank that looked a lot like me. Two bachelors degrees, two masters degrees and one law degree later, the two of them finally left academia and got — (gulp) jobs. Amazing the impact actually earning a paycheck has on one’s outlook! Today’s rant is exactly what I hear now from my capitalist piglets! You took the squeals right out of their snouts! By the way — welcome back!

  7. BrainRants says:

    YEEEEEAAAAAH THE ANGRY FUCKING RANT MAN IS BAAAAACKKK BITCHES!!! Jesus I missed you, man. This post is so awesome … (how awesome is it, motherfucker?)… it’s so fucking awesome that I had to print it out on paper and rub it on myself while I danced with glee pouring cheap American, Corporate-made beer down my overweight, capitalist pig gullet. I am so with you on this, I’m about to grab my .270 and low crawl my fat ass to Texas just to link up with you and shoot some ‘tards who probably will show up in a Hummer to a rally to protest oil and gas use, and chain their hippie asses to trees while their fetid armpit hair grows.. because the trees are crying. Give me a fucking chain saw, bro, and put these goggles on, because bone splinters…and I’ll join them in the dripping fluid party — from the tip of my d**ck. Hope you don’t have to delete this.

Yell back

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