I’ve been to jail.  Granted, it was city jail and not prison or even county jail; but jail none-the-less.  As a matter of fact, I’ve been three times (in three different cities).  I didn’t even go for a good or fun reason, like tea-bagging the drink of an ‘Affliction’ shirt-wearing douche bag or fighting for … Continue reading

For Only Three Easy Payments of Soul, Dignity and Intelligence!

Late the other night, I came upon a commercial while sitting spread-eagle in my underwear, eating popcorn and Slim Jims in my “comfy chair”.  I know…disgusting, right?  Who watches commercials when they have cable TV?  Well, for the purpose of this story, I do. The truth of the matter is, I thought I was either … Continue reading

Ode to the Overly Descriptive and Surrealistic, Nonsense-Poet

Raindrops like dreams fall, Sedentary in time and black With a twisted rainbow. My words are Picasso. My words like the wind…blow. Magma spews forth from a baby’s mouth, Intertwined and outlined In the placenta of a mothers womb. Steve Jobs is freezing in hell…too soon? I stir these words With a wooden spoon, Feel … Continue reading

Can I Get A Witness…Jehovah Style?

[Note- This is a picture of an actual letter I recently received from our ‘Neighborhood Jehova’s Witness(es).  The following post is my long (written) response to them which I mailed this afternoon.  It’s obviously not a rant, but if my sarcasm towards another religion offends you…well I don’t really care if it offends you, just … Continue reading

Gerta and the Laggin’ Wagon

I’ve talked about rules to follow when driving near me a couple of times; now I want to talk about a specific type of vehicle on the freeway that truly causes me to consider suicide by concrete divider.  There is not one other vehicle on the road today that induces more rage to spew from … Continue reading

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